Life's a great balancing act

Miles and I read a lot of Dr. Seuss together—so much so that I can quote some of the more memorable passages by memory. And lately, there’s one Dr. Seuss passage that keeps running through my head. It’s in “Oh the Places you’ll Go”--near the end. It says, “remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.”

I think I’ve started to understand what that means a little more.

Rewind about 3.5 years ago. I was a senior in college and seven month pregnant. I had some symptoms I’d never had before; called the doctor from campus; was told to go to the hospital. I figured I could squeeze in a quick trip to the hospital between classes, so I went.

Got to the hospital, was admitted and hooked up to a belly monitor and IV. After a couple of hours I told the nurse I had a class I could not miss and I needed to go. She told me I was in preterm labor and I wasn’t going anywhere.

It’s a simple story, but that was a profound moment for me. Suddenly my focus shifted. For so long I concentrated on developing myself by going to college and making and meeting other goals throughout those years. I wasn’t trying to be selfish; I was genuinely trying to search after goals that were good and praiseworthy and accomplish them to better my life. I wasn’t a mom yet, I was almost ready to graduate, and I still wanted to focus on all my personal goals.

The nurse’s comment snapped me out of me mode and into mom mode. My classes, my grades, and whatever else was on my agenda didn’t matter anymore. What mattered to me was the baby inside of me and my responsibility to him.

For the first couple of years I wanted to do the “mom thing” in what I thought was the right way and tried to devote everything to my kids; teaching them, spending all my time with them, carefully disciplining them, playing with them, reading to them, taking them on outings, and doing almost everything I did to benefit them in one way or another.

As the years have passed I’ve had another profound (for me) realization. This one was much more subtle and came bit by bit. I thought I had figured it out three years ago when I decided to put all my time and energy into being a good mother. But I hadn’t figured it out. I left out a HUGE factor imperative to becoming the best mom and wife I could be. I left out ME.

Slowly I have learned that it is imperative to focus on myself too. In order to help my children the very most I also have to help myself the very most. I can’t put off reading my personal scriptures because I’m too busy being a mother. When Miles runs into my room at 5:30 in the morning and wants me to get him breakfast immediately I’ve learned to tell him he needs to wait so I can say my personal prayers before I help him. And if I really am too tired, I’ve learned to invite him to cuddle in bed with us for another half hour or go in his room and read books quietly. My sleep is important too.

Before I thought I could help my kids the most if I put all my time and energy toward them. But now I’ve learned I need to focus on my testimony, my temple attendance, my gospel study, my exercise, my diet, my desires, and my goals. Not because I am selfish, but because that will make me a better mom and will help my kids even more than if I only solely focused on them and their progress.

And I want to have time to focus on others too—people other than Joey and Tiff and Miles and Hailey. Miles, Hailey, and I all need to be reminded from time to time that one of the big reasons we are here has nothing to do with us at all.

I want to make sure my life has balance. Being Mom is sacred. Being Tiffany is really important. And helping others outside my immediate family and my own “little world” is imperative to finding a good balance to life too.

Maybe these “profound” A-HA! moments for me have always been common knowledge to the rest of the world—I’m not sure. But one thing is for sure—Dr. Seuss was right.