Orchestra quote and their primary program quotes

One of the best perks of motherhood are the CUTE quotes that come so often out of the mouth of these babes.

Recently Miles decided to join the 6th grade orchestra. Imagine my surprise when one early morning when I was just getting out of bed Miles comes into my room and says, "Mom, can I play the cello in orchestra this year?" I was not expecting to hear that first thing in the morning or...at all. I love these kind of surprises! Of course we said yes, so he went to the first day of orchestra where the orchestra teacher had a Q & A session. She asks "Does anybody have any questions?" Miles' hand was the first one up. He had a burning question. He asked, "Will there be any parties?" When you're an 11 year old boy this is a very important priority! I was chuckling all afternoon.

Today the kids came home with their primary program quotes they need to memorize. According to my dear friend Emily, who put together the primary program this year, these quotes were what the kids came up with themselves, in their own words. Maybe it's just me but I found every single quote cute. Seriously cute, brimming with cuteness! I think it's a great idea to have the kids speak in their own words because it's just so much cuter that way....Ok, so, they probably aren't as cute as I'm making them out to be, but I can't help my biased heart! Here's what they say:

Clay: "Our prophet has asked us to study the Book of Mormon. I study the Book of Mormon with my family. Sometimes we read verses in the morning, but mostly at night."

(This totally made me smile because it's true. We have tried mornings for years, but thankfully there's always nights to save us! You should see our mornings, I feel like I'm a circus conductor wearing pajamas.)

Hailey: "I can show respect and love to my brothers and sister when I talk with them in a kind voice and play games with them even when I'm busy."

(This made me smile because I know Hailey. Hailey does say she's busy when I need her sometimes. And almost always that means that she's downstairs playing with her beenie-boos. So I had to giggle when she used the term "even when I'm busy" because really she could change that to "even when I'm playing with my beenie-boos.")

Miles: "Knowing the Articles of Faith can help me be a missionary. My favorite Article of Faith is the 13th because it has lots of good information in it." (recite the 13th Article of Faith)

(This made me smile too. I mean the "lots of good information" part, I just love!)

These may not seem all that particularly cute to outsiders. But to me, the morning circus conductor in pajamas, who knows these kids so well, who spends all day with them, there was this tender sentimental feeling of amusement and joy in my heart when I heard their primary parts.

First Day of School, August 22, 2017

A picture is worth a thousand words

Can you tell who is annoyed that I wanted to stop on the way out the door for a picture this morning?

Can you tell if I let my children pick out their own outfit ensembles or not?

Can you tell who is always the peacemaker wanting to help everybody be happy when Mom says "Smile! No seriously, smile. Come on Miles, just smile it's not that big of a deal."?

Can you tell who might be feeling choked?

It's not a perfect picture and I'm not a perfect mom, but this was our real life morning. I feel like I swung back and forth from doing good things to making mistakes. For example, I yelled at Miles this morning and feel incredibly guilty about it. But I did give each child a present (Hailey's new shirt, Miles' new watch are two of the gifts you can see in the photo). I made pancakes happily and made sure the kids and Joey were stuffed with food, but then felt quite annoyed at the huge mess in the kitchen when everyone left for school and work. I let the kids pick out their own clothes (good mom!) but I let them pick out their own clothes while seeing their peers at the bus stop in brand-new cute, perfectly matched outfits so I had to give myself  a pep talk about how good it was I let them pick out their own clothes...

"There's cracks in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Brene Brown from the book "The Gifts of Imperfection". Luckily for my kids I'm full of lots of genuine 'cracks' (imperfections), so there must be plenty of light too!

And so goes my beautifully, sweet imperfect life. Another school year. 

I love you kids. I'm sorry I yelled Miles. Maybe I should stop making you take pictures all the time? Hailey, thanks for always loving us all just the way we are, and always smiling too! Clay, you're going to rock 1st grade, by the way, what are you staring at on the ground there? Paige, just tell Hailey if you think she's choking you next time. See you this afternoon! Love, Mom

Hailey, Miles, and goals

Recently I was introduced to the idea of intrinsic motivation which is where one is motivated to reach a goal from within and not from an external factors. So I was curious about my children. What are they intrinsically motivated to do?? No pressure from friends, mom and dad, or teachers, just something they want to accomplish all from their own desire.

So tonight I asked Hailey as I tucked her into bed, "So Hailey what are some of your life goals? I'm just curious. It can be anything in the world. Just anything you really want to do."

She replied pretty much without missing a beat, "I want to win a gold medal in gymnastics in the Olympics. I want to go on a mission. I want to become a veterinarian and I want to be a mom."  

Classic Hailey answer.

After Hailey was tucked in I walked into Miles' room. I lied down beside him to chat for a minute and asked the exact same question. "Miles what are some of your life goals? I'm just curious. It can be anything in the world. Just anything you really want to do."

Miles thinks for a while. Then says, "I want to watch all the Harry Potter movies before the end of summer."

Classic Miles answer.

A couple photos of the ones I love

Clay loves his favorite blankie

I love my kids. Love is a verb--and I LOVE them every day as I work to nurture them and care for them. But, as I take care of them, or do the verb part of love, I find that I fall in love with them too. I get to know them and I see the divine in them. That kind of love really is immeasurable. Motherhood really is a partnership with God, isn't it?

Miles LOVES cub scouts. Here is a photo he emailed us after a "Photoshop" lesson at cubs. 

More than one

I saw this picture recently and it filled me with so much love for my kids. This picture was taken way back in February.

Another oldie, but goodie. Joey joined a basketball team last winter and we made him a jersey. There were extra iron-on numbers so we let the kids make number shirts with their ages. Miles and Hailey are the best of friends. I was watching them play on the trampoline yesterday and I was so happy to see how happy they are together.

I took the kids to sunshine swim school on Tuesday and a German grandmother was there with her grandson. She had a thick German accent; and told me she was from Germany. I often get comments about looking so young and having three children, so I wasn't surprised when she commented about how I didn't look old enough to have three children. But then she asked something I didn't expect, "Why DID you have so many? Why did you have more than one?" She asked. I was a little taken a-back. I was only speechless for a moment because when I looked at my three sweet kids the words came straight from my heart and out my mouth, "I can't imagine NOT having each of these kids! Life wouldn't be as wonderful without them." They are precious; they are my babies; I rejoice in them. She had a follow-up question, "How do you do it? Isn't it a lot of work?" Yes! The other day a lady asked me if I worked, I said no because I knew what she meant, but I wanted to say "are you kidding? I'm up at 6am or earlier and work until at least 8pm." Sometimes the work makes me exhausted to the core, and sometimes it's frustrating. But there are many purely perfect, awesome, once in a lifetime moments that I wouldn't give up for the world.

My work is special because not only is it some of the most important work there is to be done here on earth but it's also privilege and a luxury to be able to do it all day every day. 

Yes I have more than one! And maybe, (when I'm a little less exhausted) we'll hopefully have more than these here too. (Don't ask me about that right after giving birth, while potty training a child, or taking all the kids grocery shopping though because I will probably give you a very different answer!) I love these kids. And I love their dad too! Families are precious!

**************

(Post script: I forgot to add another interesting comment from the same grandma mentioned above. She said, "You aren't American are you." (What??) I told her I was American. She answered that she would have guessed I was Polish. I asked why and she said, "Because you're so small." Seriously?? I was laughing on the inside. Too funny! Since having children I have the most random conversations with the most random strangers about my looks. It is kind of funny...it's usually about age, but this one conversation was extra random and funny.)

Seedlings

 

These are our babies on the day of their births: Miles, Hailey and Clay, in order. 

I read the following from a new book I recently bought:

"I'd rather think of children as seedlings. Even though tiny seedlings look very similar as they sprout, in the end they will become who they are. Some will produce flowers--sunflowers, delphiniums, or snapdragons. Some will produce fruit--apples, oranges, and, yes, even lemons. But they are who they are. A sunflower can't be changed to an apple no matter how hard you try! The secret to how well each little seedling grows to become its best self depends on the gardener giving the appropriate light, water, fertilizer, and love....

We need to watch our children with the specific intent of seeing who they really are and pray like crazy that we can give them what they need to succeed! ...so just keep watching and praying, fertilizing and weeding. And more often than not, magic will happen!" (A Mother's Book of Secrets, Pothier and Eyre, 100-102).

I decided to write out what I know about each of my kids' personalities and desires. It was a helpful exercise. Here's what I came up with...A little bit about our seedlings: (I realize some of these traits are developmental more than personality in some cases...)

Miles LOVES art. He loves to draw and color and paste and staple and tape. He will write and illustrate his own little books. He just made one entitled "Once there was a grandma robot" today! He loves school. He loves homework. He wants to play the guitar someday. He wants to take a karate class and play t-ball. He is genuinely kind and friendly to everybody. He easily talks to kids he doesn't know. He doesn't judge people. If he has an agreed upon incentive (like earning computer time) he will do his chores. His favorite food is pretzels I think. When he grows up he says wants to be a dad. He will tell me "no" if he feels like it. He loves to listen to music. When we read scriptures he thinks about the words and asks us what they mean sometimes. He can be stubborn. He loves to play with his friends. He also likes to make sure his clothes match and always brushes his hair just right in the mornings. Miles wakes up at the crack of dawn--6:30 is sleeping in to him!!

Hailey has a great imagination. She can entertain herself for long periods of time. She loves to look at books and often I will find her sitting in the little chair in her room holding a pony or a doll playing quietly or with a book in her lap looking at the pictures. She is patient. She can save her money for later; on Christmas she was willing to wait to open her presents until later. She is a great friend once she gets comfortable with someone. She will sit by me at the park if there are kids she doesn't know until she warms up. She will go to bed on her own if she's too tired and she has a tendency to be motherly to her brothers. She loves to play board games. She wants to take a dance class. She is a great eater and will even eat things like salad, feta cheese and spinach. She likes doing things by the rules. She will do her chores without any incentives at all! She is almost always compliant. She loves to hear stories about herself when she was a baby. She also loves music. Sometimes she cries when she makes a mistake. Hailey will sleep in if she's left alone.

Clay is only 8 months old and I feel like I am still getting to know him. But what I do know about Clay so far is that he is a good night time sleeper. He is a great eater and will eat almost anything, although he doesn't like bananas very much. He is a huge mama's boy and will cry if I walk out of the room he is in (except when I put him in his crib for a nap thank goodness!). He loves Hailey and always has a smile for her. He is easygoing and happy to play with toys or crawl to different areas as long as he knows where his mommy is. If he isn't overly tired he will initiate separation from mommy by crawling into another room. He doesn't like to read books; he'd rather chew them. He likes action songs like "The itsy-bitsy spider." He can babble and recently learned to wave "hi" if you wave to him and say "hi!" he will wave back! ... I can't wait to get to know him more :).

How I love my little seedlings!

A day of accidents

Sometimes posting about silly childhood incidents helps me feel better about them :). Therefore I am writing about our very accident filled day!

Warning: This is a story about all kinds of pee outside of the toilet within a 24 hour time frame. Words such as urine, aim, pee, and wet the bed are used in the content below. Read at your own disgust...or delight, since it didn't happen at your house ;).

Clay woke up covered in pee last night. He was not a happy baby. Somehow his diaper flap had come undone. So we changed his sheets and pajamas.

Then a little while later...

Hailey wets the bed every once in a while. This morning I entered her room and could smell that fragrance coming from her bed. There was no denying it!! She had wet the bed last night. So we washed her sheets and covers...

Then a couple hours later...

Estes elementary called. Seems that a certain kindergartener who is dependent on us for his care and upbringing had wet his pants at recess and was now in the nurses office. The nurse said "we don't have clothes small enough" for him (they have random extra emergency clothes at school I guess) so I was summoned to bring proper fitting clothes. I went and helped him change his clothes and took home a bag with his wet clothes....

Then a few hours later...

I walked through the kids' bathroom and could smell that (unfortunately) all too familiar smell! There was urine lurking in that bathroom somewhere and it was not in the toilet! I looked all around found a big puddle at the side of the toilet. Miles and I had a little chat about the importance of aim. "Aim for the toilet son! Only you can prevent puddles."

Phew, I sure hope I'm done cleaning up urine for today. Four different times and we're not even potty training anybody.(Although it probably sounds like we should offer a refresher course!)

I take pride in knowing that I took charge of and cleaned up all the pee mishaps though. I fought the good fight and finished the course.--and now our house is pee free and smelling good again!

And just for fun...some recent pictures of those sweet little urine leakers :).

Hailey has a new buddy to pal around with when Miles is at school.

 I'm going to make this super cool "morning jobs" chart for Miles so he

can remember what he needs to do to get ready for the bus without me reminding him. To make the chart I took pictures of him doing his daily routine. This one was pretty darn cute.

Good thing these kids are washable!

 

 

 

 

 

Family scripture study puts Hailey to sleep. Good or bad?

Ok, he's pretty cute. I think we'll keep him!

Get used to it Clay. She's not going to stop anytime soon!

I love being a mom!

Random Sunday thoughts

My five-year-old flipped over the back of the pew we were sitting in in church today. I watched it happen and hoped that he would hit his head. Last Monday night for FHE we went to the church, filled into the chapel and practiced sitting reverently for extended periods of time. No flipping occurred that night.

A distant relative recently died. His name was Ted, he was married to my grandpa's cousin, Devona. Whenever I was in Utah I would go visit Ted and Devona. They were a kind old couple and really enjoyed our company. Ted was one of the nicest people I knew. I put his small newspaper obituary in my scriptures--it felt like a good place to keep it because he seemed to have so many of the good, Christ-like qualities I want to develop. He and Devona were some of those rare people you meet who truly radiate love.

After church I made my five-year-old practice being reverent by sitting on our piano bench--in hopes that no more pew flippings will occur. Later on I read a huge stack of picture books with a kicking (and luckily cooing not crying) baby on my lap and the two kids by my side. The house was still looking messy even after everybody cleaned up a little. And when bedtime (7pm) rolled around I was relieved. Goodnight #1, goodnight #2, breastfeed, burp and goodnight #3! I was tired and frazzled and had deliberately, painstakingly kept my cool at several different times tonight.

When I walked into our bedroom I noticed a little piece of paper with a smiley face on it jaggedly cut out with a little pair of scissors. Several months ago Miles had a primary lesson about service and received a smiley face to leave in place of a secret act of service. We used the smiley face several times around the house as we did service for each other before it was lost. Tonight Hailey did an act of service for her brother and dad (she put their shoes away for them) and wanted to make paper smiley faces to leave for each of them. I had helped her get out the crayons, paper, and scissors. In the craziness and exhaustion of the early evening before bedtime I had forgotten all about it. But now, in the new quiet of the night I found the smiley face on our bed. My feelings of annoyance and fatigue were replaced with love for my kids. It made me SO grateful that I had so deliberately kept my cool when I was frustrated, exhausted, and feeling overworked. It was worth it. It will always be worth it!

I think I'm going to keep this sweet little smiley face paper in my scriptures too...to remind me of the goodness of a little girl and that those Christ-like attributes I desperately want to develop might sometimes have to be developed one painstaking moment at a time when it is tempting to do otherwise. I really hope someday I can be as nice and kind as Ted was.

Nourishing the Roots

Recently I had a quiet evening all to myself and in that quiet night I read "Small and Simple Things" by Marjory Pay Hinckley. It was full of great tidbits and quotes. Many of her quotes made me pause for thought, but one in particular has been on my mind since I read it. It was a thought she shared on her motherhood experience. She said as she watched her children grow up and "now fully enjoys their company and friendship as adults" she had realized that she was "living to see the fruits of her labors." Then she quoted Alma 32:37: "And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up and bring forth fruit unto us." 

The constant needs of young children take time, problem solving skills, creative thinking, physical strength, and sometimes sleep deprivation. Just "nourishing" our young kids' physical needs (feeding, changing diapers, potty training, making meals, putting to bed, helping a sick child, etc) can take up the majority of the day (and sometimes night!)

But, Sis. Hinckley's thought got me thinking about nourishing the emotional and spiritual needs of children too.

Sometimes I find nourishing my children in these ways to be simple and easy. For example, I love to snuggle with them and read them stories. I love to sing them primary songs before they go to bed. I love to talk to them and play games with them. Other times "nourishing" them is not so fun--like following through with consequences for misbehavior or taking them to sacrament meeting knowing that 30 to 60 seconds after we sit down Miles will start to get wiggly and fidgety and that for the next 70 minutes I will need to try to not only be reverent myself (in my heart and head) but also keep my wiggly, fidgeting, often forgetting-to-whisper boy reverent too. It has brought me to tears at times. At times like those sometimes it's hard to see or imagine the "fruits of our labors" way far off in the distance. Hailey is 2 and Miles is 4 and they will wake up 2 and 4 tomorrow...and next week...and a month from now. And because my mind often has to be focused on tomorrow and next week and next month that's what I think about. Often I'm not thinking about when they'll be 22 and 24. Often I'm just thinking about them being 2 and 4. Now.

But what I want to do better is try to remember the bigger picture; the bigger goals of what I want for my kids--which is for them to be happy throughout their lives and for them to be temple worthy. Maybe I hope I can imagine them when they are 19 or 22 or 42 a little more and try to find things I can do NOW to help strengthen them THEN. I know they've got their free agency. I know it can only be through their own decisions and works that they meet the goals that I truly want for them...but I also believe in what I've been told about the power of nourishing!

I know small acts weave the patterns of our lives and ultimately our characters so many of the things that I want to focus on doing that I feel will help nourish them spiritually and emotionally are pretty small...but they add up. I know they do! Thank goodness for small and simple things!

I believe that nourishing the emotional and spiritual needs of young kids takes consistency. One reason, at least it's a reason at our house, is that half the time our honest attempts to nourish the kids seem to flop! For example, we have made it a goal to have FHE every week and for a long time now we have been able to do it. HOWEVER, I never can tell which FHE is going to be a great experience and which ones are going to fall apart. Recently I took a LONG time preparing and planning what I thought was a great family home evening just to have the night turn into a mini disaster. Last week, however, when Joey was on a business trip and I did not even think about what we would do for FHE until literally 60 seconds before we sat down to have it--it turned out to be a great success and have a positive impact on the kids. What did we do? I grabbed the new "gospel art book" that you can buy for about $3.50 from the distribution center, sat one child on either side of me, and we looked at the pictures together. It sparked conversation and was great. Totally last minute, totally simple, and the only reason I even had FHE that night was because our goal truly is consistency. But it turned into a nourishing moment and had I decided to skip for lack of preparation or desire that moment would never have happened.

She's not a tree. She doesn't really have roots. I guess what that scripture means then is to nourish their spirits.

Some days are easier than others. Someone recently told me that they "just aren't good at taking care of kids." I have to disagree. I don't think nourishing children is necessarily an inherited talent or something we automatically know how to do or even love to do all the time. At least, it isn't for me. It takes practice. It takes resolve and self control. But I think, just like any other skill, we can learn how to do it. And we all can do it! It's worth it. That's what Sis. Hinckley said. That's what so many others have said! And I believe it!

# 3

I am sure that most everyone who checks our blog probably talks to us enough to already know that Miles and Hailey are going to get a new little sister or brother in the spring!

I am 13 weeks pregnant as of today! Last month we got our "little bean" ultrasound pictures and yesterday we (the kids and I) went to the doctor for my third visit and we got to hear the baby's heart beat!

This is the awkward part of pregnancy for me---the time where I'm sure people look at me and can't tell if I am pregnant or just had an extra large lunch.  Well, actually, some days both are true!

We're excited! Oh, and I have a guess---I think we are having a little girl! That's what I think until the ultrasound technician can prove me wrong :).

"Mom, Hailey say cheese!"

Picture taken by Miles!

I saw this picture and laughed to myself! I love it! I think my most favorite moments of being a mother are when I have nothing pressing on my mind and I'm just playing and goofing around with the kids.

It is fun to get down on the floor and be silly and hang out with them. My most favorite silly moments are playing "airplane" with them (that's where I lay on the floor put them on my feet and and extend my legs and let them "fly") tickling them and pretending to laugh when they "tickle" me, pretending I'm asleep and silently laughing while they try all kinds of things to wake me up, playing trios (kind of like legos) with them,  and all of us hiding from Joey when he gets home from work and then waiting for him to find us. Those are great times!

Overheard at the park tonight...and other purly Miles moments

Tonight at the park the kids were playing with another little boy who happened to come by. The little boy started talking to Hailey and I heard Miles say from halfway across the park, "Be gentle to that girl, because she is my sister." Sometimes this kid makes me so proud and happy...

On Sunday Miles announced to me at the end of sacrament meeting, "I'm not going to go to primary." Sometimes this kid leaves me speechless and baffled...

A few months back at about 5:45am I heard Miles fumbling around in the bathroom. After a couple minutes of hearing non-stop fumbling I went to investigate. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I didn't feel good so I drank this medicine." Turns out he had drank the rest of an entire bottle of Infant Ibuprofen! My heart skipped a beat and we immediately phoned poison control....Sometimes this kid scares me half to death...

Every night I climb up to the top bunk and lay by Miles for a couple of minutes at bedtime. Almost every night he says, "Sing me your favorite song and tickle my back."...Sometimes he makes being a mom the best thing in the world...

Recently I asked Miles to stop doing something. He got a little smile on his face, looked straight at me, and continued to do what I'd asked him to stop!...Sometimes this kid makes me mad and purposefully tests my parenting abilities...

This afternoon Miles said to me, "Maybe I'll go on my mission to Hawaii." Sometimes this kid just makes me smile.

To be completely honest, Miles can be a lot of work for his mother. I've learned that being his mom means I'm going to get to feel a huge range of emotions on a regular basis! But, he's completely worth it! I love this kid!

Life's a great balancing act

Miles and I read a lot of Dr. Seuss together—so much so that I can quote some of the more memorable passages by memory. And lately, there’s one Dr. Seuss passage that keeps running through my head. It’s in “Oh the Places you’ll Go”--near the end. It says, “remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.”

I think I’ve started to understand what that means a little more.

Rewind about 3.5 years ago. I was a senior in college and seven month pregnant. I had some symptoms I’d never had before; called the doctor from campus; was told to go to the hospital. I figured I could squeeze in a quick trip to the hospital between classes, so I went.

Got to the hospital, was admitted and hooked up to a belly monitor and IV. After a couple of hours I told the nurse I had a class I could not miss and I needed to go. She told me I was in preterm labor and I wasn’t going anywhere.

It’s a simple story, but that was a profound moment for me. Suddenly my focus shifted. For so long I concentrated on developing myself by going to college and making and meeting other goals throughout those years. I wasn’t trying to be selfish; I was genuinely trying to search after goals that were good and praiseworthy and accomplish them to better my life. I wasn’t a mom yet, I was almost ready to graduate, and I still wanted to focus on all my personal goals.

The nurse’s comment snapped me out of me mode and into mom mode. My classes, my grades, and whatever else was on my agenda didn’t matter anymore. What mattered to me was the baby inside of me and my responsibility to him.

For the first couple of years I wanted to do the “mom thing” in what I thought was the right way and tried to devote everything to my kids; teaching them, spending all my time with them, carefully disciplining them, playing with them, reading to them, taking them on outings, and doing almost everything I did to benefit them in one way or another.

As the years have passed I’ve had another profound (for me) realization. This one was much more subtle and came bit by bit. I thought I had figured it out three years ago when I decided to put all my time and energy into being a good mother. But I hadn’t figured it out. I left out a HUGE factor imperative to becoming the best mom and wife I could be. I left out ME.

Slowly I have learned that it is imperative to focus on myself too. In order to help my children the very most I also have to help myself the very most. I can’t put off reading my personal scriptures because I’m too busy being a mother. When Miles runs into my room at 5:30 in the morning and wants me to get him breakfast immediately I’ve learned to tell him he needs to wait so I can say my personal prayers before I help him. And if I really am too tired, I’ve learned to invite him to cuddle in bed with us for another half hour or go in his room and read books quietly. My sleep is important too.

Before I thought I could help my kids the most if I put all my time and energy toward them. But now I’ve learned I need to focus on my testimony, my temple attendance, my gospel study, my exercise, my diet, my desires, and my goals. Not because I am selfish, but because that will make me a better mom and will help my kids even more than if I only solely focused on them and their progress.

And I want to have time to focus on others too—people other than Joey and Tiff and Miles and Hailey. Miles, Hailey, and I all need to be reminded from time to time that one of the big reasons we are here has nothing to do with us at all.

I want to make sure my life has balance. Being Mom is sacred. Being Tiffany is really important. And helping others outside my immediate family and my own “little world” is imperative to finding a good balance to life too.

Maybe these “profound” A-HA! moments for me have always been common knowledge to the rest of the world—I’m not sure. But one thing is for sure—Dr. Seuss was right.

Reflections on motherhood

Miles' third birthday marks my third year as a mom. I wanted to share some thoughts on being a mother.

When Miles was born I expected to feel elated joy when they placed him in my arms. Instead I felt panic! The responsibility seemed way too much! In the words of a close friend, I don't think I would have minded if the doctor had put him back in until I felt more prepared!! But then again, can you ever feel completely prepared to raise children??


(Babies don't intimidate me so much anymore! But back then nothing
seemed more intimidating than raising this little guy!)

I have learned that motherhood is hard. But it is also wonderful.

Being a mom has made me more acutely aware of my weaknesses. But, I also have found some new strengths...and a new motivation to improve my weaknesses. (Someday some of them will be strengths because, in the words of another friend, I can do hard things!)

Because of my experiences as a mother I have gained a deeper respect and appreciation for others. I feel compassion and empathy and love much more. I have grown to be more patient too.

I feel like giving my time to my children is the most important thing I could give to them. I feel very lucky to spend every day with them. Every book we read together, every walk we take, every game, every chore, every conversation, every meal, every moment...It all adds up and it all makes a very real difference in their lives I believe.


(I still think motherhood is a huge responsibility,
but I am up for the challenge!!)

As any mother, I pray that my children will be able to see how much I love them. I hope I can show them this love by my actions, by how I choose to talk and listen to them including what I say and how I say it, by how I choose to discipline and teach them and by how I choose to take time to do things with them. And of course, hugs and kisses too!

Mama's helpers

Look whose helping me out in the kitchen lately... I've put her in charge of reorganizing my cupboards and she helps by doing it several times each day!



Here is our official kitchen stirrer. If something needs to be stirred he's on the job!



He also likes to crack open eggs...and has applied for the position of household egg cracker; at this time we feel his qualifications do not meet the necessary requirements for that position. But we will keep his request on file for a later date...

Thank goodness for the extra help! What would I do without my kitchen crew?

rocking my baby boy tonight

Back when Miles was little (well, littler...) I used to rock him and sing to him when he would wheeze. His wheezing and crying usually happened in the middle of the night. It was the only thing I could figure out to do to calm him down.

When he started taking his nebulizer the middle of the night wheezing attacks stopped. And so did rocking and singing in the rocking chair. Except sometimes. Sometimes out of the blue Miles will request that I "hold him like a baby" and sing to him in the rocking chair.

Tonight Miles was crying. His day was napless (oh, how I miss those Sunday naps!) and he was overtired. Good thing I'm a pro at dealing with exhausted children (Well, sometimes I'm a pro.) I whisked that overtired little boy over to our rocking chair. I held him like a baby. I ran my fingernails softly up and down his back. And then I sang every primary song I knew. Then he fell asleep.

It was nice. I want to remember it. Who knows when he won't want to be held like a baby anymore...it might be sooner than I think.

Little memories--the public library

We have a new public library somewhat near our house and I've been taking the kids once a week. It's got a cute little play area in the children's section and I let Miles play there and Hailey crawl around while I spend as much time as I want picking out books for the kids. Then after I pick out a huge, heaping stack of books (probably way too many) we go to the back of the library sit down at a table and read every single book. I read the board books to Hailey. She likes to grab them away from me and chew on them. I always think this is really germy--but she has yet to get sick from it. I let her crawl around and play with her books while I read all the storybooks to Miles (who then wants to read them again...and again...).

We spend about an hour or even more every time we go. And I love it! And the kids love it! In fact, I even know the book sections by heart now--I know exactly where the race car books are and where to find the books by Mercer Mayer or Marc Brown or Ashlee Wolff or Mo Willems (my favorite kid book authors). I know when baby story time is...and when toddler time is...I even know what day the missionaries are there checking their email!

We know some of the librarians by name and they know us. Oh--and the big family bathroom is GREAT for potty training two-year-olds and their moms with babies in strollers.

We love our library days. So, this is what I think... Library=great place to take small children. Costco=not a great place to take small children.

Let's not let this happen again

One of these came to the Costco parking lot this morning. The sirens were blaring and the lights were flashing.

Apparently some 2-year-old boy outsmarted his mom and locked himself and his baby sister in the van and locked his mom out of the van.

It was very embarrassing. Close to maybe my most embarrassing moment ever. But Joey promises that someday I'll laugh about it. I wasn't sure that I should admit this happened to me and share it, but it was very memorable.

Little ones

A couple of weeks ago Miles and Hailey were both taking naps and the house was unusually quiet. While I was picking up random toys from the family room this scene from our back window caught my eye. It got me thinking.

Side walk chalk and a tricycle are not always going to adorn my porch but I’m happy that they do right now. And ABC window clings, finger smudges, and dry saliva streaks all over my back window are somehow sweet too. Little children won’t be in our home forever. But they are in our home right now. I have a special opportunity to teach and lead and help create happy memories each day for these two little people.

I’m enjoying this season in my life. I’m even enjoying my beautifully smeary back window.

Checking out Christmas lights

Last night was crazy.

Joey left around 6pm. The entire house was a disaster. Not just messy--but gross messy. Chunks of food on the ground under the table from our dinner...toys everywhere...sticky counters...full garbage cans. Get the picture?

It was also the time of night where somehow the kids require all of my attention (happens every night around the same time) and nothing else can get done until baths are taken and children tucked into bed.

The gross mess was bugging me so I was trying to somehow clean things up while bathing Miles and changing Hailey into her PJs. It's pretty much impossible on my own. (I'm still in the process of learning how to be supermom but I'm not there yet.)

At about this time Miles got out of the tub and was running around in his wet birthday suit and the dinner dishes looked sticker every time I glanced over at them. I decided I had had it! Nothing was getting clean and the kids were getting more and more ready for bed (i.e. cranky).

So I did what needed to be done. We dropped everything, left the house as messy as it was, got in the van, turned on the Christmas CD and drove around to check out Christmas lights. At one point Miles said, "Mom drive slower! I'm looking at the sprinkling lights!" I did not ask which lights were sprinkling.

The crazy night was defused and everybody came home happier. Hailey was happiest because she was asleep.

And, in the end, the house did get cleaned up.