Nourishing the Roots

Recently I had a quiet evening all to myself and in that quiet night I read "Small and Simple Things" by Marjory Pay Hinckley. It was full of great tidbits and quotes. Many of her quotes made me pause for thought, but one in particular has been on my mind since I read it. It was a thought she shared on her motherhood experience. She said as she watched her children grow up and "now fully enjoys their company and friendship as adults" she had realized that she was "living to see the fruits of her labors." Then she quoted Alma 32:37: "And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up and bring forth fruit unto us." 

The constant needs of young children take time, problem solving skills, creative thinking, physical strength, and sometimes sleep deprivation. Just "nourishing" our young kids' physical needs (feeding, changing diapers, potty training, making meals, putting to bed, helping a sick child, etc) can take up the majority of the day (and sometimes night!)

But, Sis. Hinckley's thought got me thinking about nourishing the emotional and spiritual needs of children too.

Sometimes I find nourishing my children in these ways to be simple and easy. For example, I love to snuggle with them and read them stories. I love to sing them primary songs before they go to bed. I love to talk to them and play games with them. Other times "nourishing" them is not so fun--like following through with consequences for misbehavior or taking them to sacrament meeting knowing that 30 to 60 seconds after we sit down Miles will start to get wiggly and fidgety and that for the next 70 minutes I will need to try to not only be reverent myself (in my heart and head) but also keep my wiggly, fidgeting, often forgetting-to-whisper boy reverent too. It has brought me to tears at times. At times like those sometimes it's hard to see or imagine the "fruits of our labors" way far off in the distance. Hailey is 2 and Miles is 4 and they will wake up 2 and 4 tomorrow...and next week...and a month from now. And because my mind often has to be focused on tomorrow and next week and next month that's what I think about. Often I'm not thinking about when they'll be 22 and 24. Often I'm just thinking about them being 2 and 4. Now.

But what I want to do better is try to remember the bigger picture; the bigger goals of what I want for my kids--which is for them to be happy throughout their lives and for them to be temple worthy. Maybe I hope I can imagine them when they are 19 or 22 or 42 a little more and try to find things I can do NOW to help strengthen them THEN. I know they've got their free agency. I know it can only be through their own decisions and works that they meet the goals that I truly want for them...but I also believe in what I've been told about the power of nourishing!

I know small acts weave the patterns of our lives and ultimately our characters so many of the things that I want to focus on doing that I feel will help nourish them spiritually and emotionally are pretty small...but they add up. I know they do! Thank goodness for small and simple things!

I believe that nourishing the emotional and spiritual needs of young kids takes consistency. One reason, at least it's a reason at our house, is that half the time our honest attempts to nourish the kids seem to flop! For example, we have made it a goal to have FHE every week and for a long time now we have been able to do it. HOWEVER, I never can tell which FHE is going to be a great experience and which ones are going to fall apart. Recently I took a LONG time preparing and planning what I thought was a great family home evening just to have the night turn into a mini disaster. Last week, however, when Joey was on a business trip and I did not even think about what we would do for FHE until literally 60 seconds before we sat down to have it--it turned out to be a great success and have a positive impact on the kids. What did we do? I grabbed the new "gospel art book" that you can buy for about $3.50 from the distribution center, sat one child on either side of me, and we looked at the pictures together. It sparked conversation and was great. Totally last minute, totally simple, and the only reason I even had FHE that night was because our goal truly is consistency. But it turned into a nourishing moment and had I decided to skip for lack of preparation or desire that moment would never have happened.

She's not a tree. She doesn't really have roots. I guess what that scripture means then is to nourish their spirits.

Some days are easier than others. Someone recently told me that they "just aren't good at taking care of kids." I have to disagree. I don't think nourishing children is necessarily an inherited talent or something we automatically know how to do or even love to do all the time. At least, it isn't for me. It takes practice. It takes resolve and self control. But I think, just like any other skill, we can learn how to do it. And we all can do it! It's worth it. That's what Sis. Hinckley said. That's what so many others have said! And I believe it!